Friday, July 17, 2009

Tying the knot

Well, Walhydra and Hubby Jim are going the long way around, step by step, to make each other thanks DOMA and that wimpy, people-pleasing excuse for a liberal, Bill Clinton, who signed it.

Walhydra won't repeat her whole marriage rant, since you can find it here.

Even so, Walhydra says she resents having to find a lawyer, pay $600, and go through weeks of gyrations for two sets of six documents, in order to even approximate what any two heterosexual fools can do cheap with a license and a justice of the peace...even by accident.

Marriage, by Toles (courtesy Boiling Point Blog)Anyway,...yesterday morning, sometime around 10:30 am, Walhydra and JimJim met in front of their lawyer and two witnesses and each signed a Last Will and Testament, a Letter of Escrow Instruction, a Durable Power of Attorney for Property (and a backup, in case the designated attorney-in-fact is incapable of acting), a Health Care Surrogate Designation, and a Living Will.

How romantic....

Feeling a bit safer now, nonetheless, since they can take care of each other in hospital and inherit from each other, Walhydra says, "It still doesn't count as marriage."

She and Jim became a couple in 1985.

They were married under the care of their Quaker Meeting in 1994.

But they are still having to look for and plug loopholes, one by one, in order to protect each other as a family.

Feeling somewhat like the surly librarian she usually is, Walhydra instructs her readers to do their own research, for a change:

"Look up all the benefits that married couples get in your own municipality and state, as well as all the Federal benefits. Don't forget about all the retail discounts and give-aways and other special offers for married couples. Look it up!"

Meanwhile, Walhydra is happy. She and her Sweety are getting cuddlier by the minute.

And vacation calls.

Blessèd Be, despite it all.


Marsha said...

Married couples would be well advised to do the same things. Nothing is foolproof about relationships.

Before my marriage derailed (refer to cartoon) my husband and I had wills, durable powers of attorney, you name it.

Maybe it is because I'm an attorney, but everything you think just happens because of marriage often fails. Nothing is as easy as it seems as if it should be.

Those who are proactive, like you and your dear hubby have, are the lucky ones because you've covered all the bases you can. Nonetheless, it is annoying (at best) and a constitutional travesty that you are unable to marry.

I agree, DOMA is a PITA and I hope that the Mass lawsuit against it prevails!

Cat Chapin-Bishop said...

People talk about the sanctity of marriage. For what it's worth, Bright Crow, I feel that my marriage is a tiny bit more sacred because you and Jim love one another despite the folly our culture and our laws.

And when your marriage is acknowledged as the full equal of my own, my own will be just a little more blessed.

Thank you for holding up your corner of the sky. Blessed be.

Cat Chapin-Bishop said...

PS--if you ever want to move to Massachusetts, there's this really great Quaker meeting I could totally hook you up with!

Just sayin'!

Vicki said...


Bright Crow said...

I agree with Marsha.

I have a colleague whose husband died intestate last month. In addition to the intense grief and dislocation of losing a life-long partner, she is having to wrestle with the complexities of probate, Social Security, etc.

Our society and its management of business, property, etc., has become far too complicated, yet even those of us with a commitment to simplicity need to learn enough to be responsible stewards of our lifes, for the sake of our families.

Blessèd Be,
Michael Bright Crow

Bright Crow said...

Thanks, Cat and Vicki.